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Scene 5: Evaluation #1

[Enter Matthew]

MATTHEW O.K. Two days down and we have [reading badly] "an omnipresent gravitational field with less powerful but very well balanced electro-weak interactions that allow us to have a dizzying array of different atoms and chemical combinations."

[pause. Breath] Well, Al and Neil have certainly been working hard. Good. We may actually pull this one off in time. And to think, a week ago they were at each others throats. Now, all I need to figure out is how to properly motivate Lou. I've often wondered why it is God made him egocentric and stubborn. But who is to question the mind of the Boss? I mean, he put us on this Chicken/Egg thing, didn't he? And just what did he mean by "Same but Different."

The self-sustaining I could understand. This isn't the first time that he's had us work up an entirely new cosmos. Normally we'd have more than six days, but that shouldn't be too much of a problem. It does limit our creativity. I mean, this is going to be one Heck of a boring place if we only have six days. However, Al has found time to insert uncertainty. God wanted self-sustaining and meaning and Al gives me uncertainty. Something you can't pin down. I mean is it there or isn't it there? None of this not knowing stuff. I had to practically reinvent probability just so Neil would calm down. And then Neil comes back with a hundred or so nuclei that are "happy being together" and a "loose fringe of wanderers" to balance things out.

But, how to make the Chicken/Egg? Now there's the question. Chicken/Egg. Chicken. Egg! [stumbling on his words] A-living-mortal-dying-rebirth-cycle that goes on 'til the end of time without end, but with a beginning. Hmm.... That's the problem, isn't it? A new cycle without beginning or end, a circle complete and perfect, that's not a problem, that's God. But this has a beginning.... hmm like God. You don't think maybe God's a Chicken? A Giant Chicken . . nah.

[Enter Al and Neil arguing]

AL I'm telling you there were 100 electrons in the box when I gave it to you. You must have just lost one.

NEIL I didn't open the box. It was still closed when I tested it. I deduced the number by the amount of electric charge.

AL So you can look inside the box without opening it.

NEIL Exactly. And there were only 99 electrons in the box. Unless maybe you'd like to own up to altering the fundamental electrical charge unit...

AL I have done no such thing.

NEIL Then how did it get out? Come on Al, own up to it... you either did it on purpose, or you just goofed. Be a sport, Al. You miscounted, now admit it!

AL I did not miscount, I do not make mistakes.

MATTHEW Gentlemen, please. Am I to assume, Al, that you prepared a specimen containing exactly 100 electrons for study by Neil?

AL Exactly 100.

MATTHEW And, am I to assume that you have measured accurately the exact number of electrons in the box to be 99, Neil?

NEIL You are most correct as always.

MATTHEW And the box has remained sealed in that time.

AL & NEIL Yes!

MATTHEW [grandly, a la Sherlock Holmes] Then I think you must examine the probability density function.....for electrons..... in a box. If you look closely, you will find that the probability does not go to zero outside the box, it just gets small. Therefore we must conclude that one electron has decided that it did not like to live in the box and has subsequently left.

AL And just how is it going to do that? The box has been closed.

MATTHEW Yes. However, a portion of the electron has always existed outside the box and the electron decided that it was time for all of it to live outside the box.

NEIL Are you saying it just felt like getting up and walking through the box and that's why its gone?

MATTHEW Precisely.

NEIL You're loony. I mean, what kind of an idiot would ever make up a universe where electrons can get up and walk away on their own?

AL Uhm... Neil?

NEIL What?

AL He's right.

NEIL Oh, this kind of an idiot.

[Exit Neil quickly, with Al following close behind, fighting]

MATTHEW Well then, sometimes Physics and Chemistry can only take you so far, then you need to reinvent the wheel, to break down all the rules, go outside all the boundaries and then, and only then, can you come to a greater understanding of yourself. Hey! That's what He's doing here; isn't it? In creating all this chaos, we learn more about what it is that makes this place tick. So we all get a really good lesson in who we are while busy figuring out what were making. [waxing mega-dramatic] And maybe just maybe, we'll find the strength of a unified team, by finding that we can work together simply because we must work together. And, now the task falls on my shoulders. How to let Lou know how important this chance is. How to make sure that he works like Al and Neil have on this problem how to solve the riddle of the Chicken and Egg!

[Enter Lou]

LOU Hey Matthew, how's it coming?

MATTHEW Quite well, Lou, in fact I've just been going over the reports from Al and Neil. They've made a uniquely interesting world in record time and have left the land well and fully lit for the creatures to arrive. And that is where we come to your work. What have you got so far?

LOU Well, it goes kinda like this. Chicken/Egg should be strong, not weak, and intelligent, like us.

MATTHEW [completely fake] Good thinking, I like that, run with it. Where is that going to take you?

LOU Well, I'm thinking green and white. White egg, green chicken, and big and strong. Able to take care of themselves. Chickens should not be afraid of anything. Uhhh, I haven't figured out the replication/self-sustaining/mortal/replicating thing yet.

MATTHEW That's only to be expected Lou, You haven't had any specifics to work with until now, but the work that you have done already when coupled to the cosmos set in place by Al and Neil's teams should leave you in a prime position to be able to solve these last remaining problems.

LOU Uh, yeah. That's exactly what I was thinking.