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Scene 6: Art

[Fifi is standing at an easel with a paint brush in her hand]

FIFI Ugh. I have all these wonderful ideas and all I get it these samples from Biology: crap -- it's all crap. I swear that Lou is going to haunt us in the future. Now let's see. A big round ball floating in a big black sea. Ugh. No. I don't think so. A ball is too symmetrical, spherical. I need something more ovoid, less perfect -- more like an egg. [paints for some time] Yes, that's it. A big fuscia egg in a sea of black with little glowing dots all around. Ughh. This does fadge.

[Raul enters]

RAUL Madame Fifi, I am so glad to see you. I have just heard the most shocking thing from Biology. Hold me!

FIFI There. There. What is it?

RAUL Ohh. It's terrible. They have made it so that fuscia is not available.

FIFI No! Tell me again. I feel weak.

RAUL Yes. They said that fuscia cannot sustain life. It makes them break out all over and itch. And, what's more, plants have to be green!

FIFI Green! Hold me.

RAUL There. There. They said that all our lovely colors are for the birds.

FIFI Birds?!?

RAUL Yes, birds. [pause]

FIFI Well, this is terrible, but we do have a deadline. We must get to work. If I can't have my fuscia, I at least want lots of that lovely liquid that Neil made.

RAUL Kool-Aid?

FIFI Yes, Kool-Aid. I will fill the seas with red Kool-Aid.

RAUL Oh, Madame. That is the best idea I have heard ever, but it won't work. Lou drank it all. And, Neil forgot how to make more.

FIFI No. Ughh. That Lou. Damn him! Well, I will just have to make it with water and drop in the powder later. Now, about those plants. You said they have to be all green.

RAUL Not all green. Just mostly green.

FIFI Oh good. This may be a little stifling, but I can work with it. I'll just have to make them bloom and flower.

RAUL Yes. Flower.

FIFI The flowers shall be big, beautiful and colorful. It shall be my most beautiful creation and I will use fuscia.

RAUL Let them itch!

FIFI No matter what they say in Biology, there must always be some fuscia. Not only will it sustain life, it will create life. Yes. The beauty of the flower will bring life. [works]

RAUL Uhh. Wonderful. I never dreamed it could be so lovely.

FIFI I will make the earth brown which matches with green. And, I will have all kinds of brown-- khaki and beige-- and all kinds of green-- like Forest Green, Grass Green, Alligator.

RAUL Alligator?

FIFI Oui! It's a big animal with many yellow teeth that lives in the swamps.

RAUL Da swamps?

FIFI Oui. It's a body of Kool-Aid with plants and animals living inside of it.

RAUL But, won't the Kool-Aid dye the alligators red?

FIFI Silly Raul. Red and green cannot form together. It would look awful. They are so far apart in color. I mean what's next -- yellow and blue? Ha!

RAUL I'm so sorry.

FIFI That's O.K. Now the animals. Yes. The creative possibilities are endless. I want small ones and big ones and ones which can swim, ones which can walk, and ones which can fly. There will be so many of them. They will all be animals, but they will be different. Same, but different. They will swing from vine to vine, jump from tree to tree and fly from power-line to power-line.

RAUL Power line?

FIFI It's a tree with metal strings as branches.

RAUL Ohh. How magnificent!

FIFI Yes. It is rather majestic.

[Enter Matthew]

MATTHEW So, how do we stand?

FIFI & RAUL On our feet!

MATTHEW Ummmm.... How's the work going?

FIFI Ohh, Matthew. I'm so glad you have come at just the right time. The world still needs a little work. But, I can already feel it start to fadge. Can you see the wonderful sky and the oceans?

MATTHEW Oh, yes, great.

FIFI Oui. They'll be even better when we add the red Kool-Aid.

MATTHEW Into the ocean?


MATTHEW Let me see if I understand this correctly. You want to make the whole ocean red?

FIFI Oui. With lots of creatures floating around in them.



MATTHEW Hold me.

FIFI There. There.

RAUL It's wonderful! Madame has outdone herself.

MATTHEW Neil's going to give you the Kool-aid?

FIFI Yes. He has to reinvent it though. Lou drank it all. Ohh, Matti-poo. Can you tell Neil to make me some Kool-aid?

MATTHEW Yeah, I guess, but...

FIFI Ohh, wonderful! Now about those animals, we absolutely need orange and purple and blue. Don't you like this planet?

MATTHEW Yeah. It was good. Well, I see that you guys are working hard and will have it finished in no time. I'm glad to see you're making progress. I have to go talk to Neil immediately about the Kool-Aid.

FIFI Oui. Au revoir, monsieur.

RAUL Ciao.

[Matthew leaves shaking his head]

FIFI Now. What's this about the Chicken and the egg?

RAUL The Chicken is green.

FIFI Green?

RAUL Green.