Henhouse? What Henhouse? Nobody told me about a Henhouse!
[Playwright is still asleep at his desk, and Loner is pacing back and forth.]
Loner What the hell am I doing here? How come I'm so lost in every play that I'm in?!?! I don't even know which hotel I'm in! [pause] I need a room. Darn! They don't know who I am! [pause] I.D.!
Villain [Walking in from stage right] Why do I always have such bad relationships with women? Why must they always scream so much? I've done a darn good job as villain if I do say so.
Loner [Checks his pockets] Stupid writer... no wallet! [makes evil glance at sleeping writer] Room -- must get a room.
Villain I'm really a nice guy -- why am I always cast as a villain?!? I tried to be nice, but I've got to follow the script.
Loner Room -- gotta get extra towels [pause] bathrobes [pause] mints... [pause] Mints??!? I better get a mint...
Villain Nobody appreciates me!
Loner Nice mint...
Villain Every one hates me!
Loner Chocolate mint...
Villain How can someone love me when I'm always the bad guy!?
Loner On my pillow...
Villain I don't want to be the villain!
Loner Every night...
Villain I can't stand it anymore! There's got to be a decent script around here somewhere. [begins searching for a script]
Loner And fresh towels, shower caps, and a complimentary toothbrush. Wake up calls every morning at 7. Wait! I still don't know what I'm doing here! Darnit darnit darnit darnit darnit darnit...
Villain Aha! I found it! [lifts up paper from the desk and begins to read] "It was a dark and stormy..."
Loner [Suddenly aware of Villain's presence] Nooo! [runs over to Playwright's desk and yanks script from Villain] Don't read that! If you read that we'll just [faster and faster] get caught in a endless looping over scenes 1 through 3 and then looping back at 4 over and over gain and then we can't stop and we'll be caught here forever we'll be reading what we've read and then what we've read we'll read and we'll be stuck in our own space time...
Villain [Slaps Loner] Stop it! We'll have none of that here. If we can't use this script we need to do something -- how are we going to end the play?
Loner [Still in shock a little] The writer!
Loner and Villain Wake Up!!!!!!
[A train whistle sounds. Playwright snorts and grunts in his sleep.]