Crossing the Road
[Loner is on-stage with the notepad and pencil. He is writing. Maid enters.]
Maid Hello. What are you doing?
Loner I thought maybe if I started keeping a diary, I could make some sense out of all of this.
Maid Well, that sounds like a wonderful idea. Mint? [Hands him a mint]
[Sidekick enters. Loner continues to observe and write.]
Sidekick Excuse me. Have either of you seen the Hero?
Maid [to herself] A little more than I'd like.
Maid Oh. Sorry. No, I haven't seen him lately.
Sidekick Oh well. That's ok. He was supposed to meet me here. We were going to practice Saying Heroic Things At Just The Right Moment. I still need a little work on that.
Maid If you don't mind me asking, why do you always follow him around?
Sidekick He's the Hero. It's what I do. I follow him around and we have adventures, and save Damsels, and stop Villains from doing evil things. Well, mostly he saves Damsels and stops Villains. I sort of watch. But, I carry his stuff, and light his cigarettes, and make sure his shoes are nice and shiny. That's real important stuff.
Maid Doesn't sound like a lot of fun to me.
Sidekick Oh but that's just the half of it. See, he's teaching me how to be a Hero. Why, I've learned ... how to ... umm ... well, light cigarettes, and ... shine shoes ... and say heroic things at just the right ... Hey! There he is. I knew he wouldn't forget!
Hero Ah. There you are.
Sidekick Yup. I've been practicing. Watch. "Step away from that Damsel, evil-doer."
Hero Not you. [to Maid] I've been looking all over for you, you know. Let's go up to the fourth floor.
Maid I don't know. I'm kind of busy here. I've got a lot of rooms to clean, beds to turn down.
Hero Look, babe. I think we both know what we want. So stop playing these little hard to get games, and let's go. You can turn down my bed.
Maid What? I think I hear the dryer buzzing! [Exits]
Hero She'll come crawling back.
Sidekick Of course she will! But, since she's gone, maybe we could work on some heroic sayings? "You're no match for the powers of good!"
[A train whistle sounds]